Back at it AGAIN! What in the world was I thinking?

So, it has been many moons since I last posted. One of my biggest faults (yes, I HAVE a fault) is procrastination. I have a very Scarlett O'Hara view of life. "I'll think about that tomorrow." Erica has since run many a half marathon AND a Ragnar which sounds like the equivalent of roasting in the pits of hell to me, but everyone has to have their "thing", right? Point being, I have yet to run a 10k, much less a marathon. This is a problem that will soon be rectified because I signed up for one in September. EEEEEEKKKKK!!!! When I think about running that 10k, I break out in hives, I swear.


However, this has become a personal quest for me. In the past 14 months since I made the upheaval of a lifetime involving dumping a piece of shit (ooops, trash) boyfriend, starting a new job, moving to new city, starting running, and meeting the man of my dreams, I have lost 65 lbs. (on a non-PMS day), and I'm down 6 (7 if I'm not retaining an ounce of water and the dress is a maxi dress) dress sizes. All of this thanks to running and making a (semi) commitment to a healthier lifestyle, as well as the support of so many people who are my sturdy anchors in choppy seas. So, this 10k is to prove to myself that I can do one more thing that I never thought that I could do, and to let them know how much their love and support has meant to me.


All of my life, people have told me that I can do anything, that I am the strongest person that he/she knows, that I have capabilities beyond my wildest imagination. Now, if you know me well, you know that as these people are encouraging me, I'm sitting there thinking "Blah, blah, blah.... I can feel the breeze from the smoke he/she is blowing up my skirt." Now, I'm beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, there is something to what all those folks were trying to tell me. Sometimes, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and I have to learn things the hard way. Shocking, I know.


Anyway,I have now chosen to (or have been coerced into... Erica) run(ning) a 10k. So, I decided that I would be brilliant get a training schedule. I visited www.coolrunning.com, and got a "beginners" 10k training schedule. Beginner, my ass!! All I can say, is that those guys at coolrunning.com obviously didn't have "beginners" such as I in mind when they developed that training schedule. Holy Mother of Milky Ways!! I didn't make it past the first week when I texted Erica and told her that I was done! Done! I believe that I may have included a few expletives and invectives in that message. Maybe. Prior to that, I had been so proud of myself and all that I had accomplished. I was running up to 5 miles on the treadmill, and I had broken my turtle-like pace and moved up to 4.8 mph. I was running a minimum of 3 days a week, and I was starting to feel like a RUNNER! See, that is a lot to be proud of! Three days into that damn training schedule, and I felt like a complete idiot (hence the idiot training for a half). I was sucking wind after a mile and a half, and I was tensing up every muscle in my body. I actually went home and cried after that run. Not tears of pain or triumph, but tears of frustration and anguish. A soul-deep anguish. I just didn't want to give up on one more thing in my life because it got too hard or required more than I thought that I had to give.


So, I thought a lot about it, and I talked to the aforementioned man of my dreams about it. He told me that if I didn't want to do it, not to bother myself with it. It was when he said that I realized that I DO want it. I want it so badly that I can taste it. I want it so badly that I WILL lace up my "trainers" and get back out there. See, that's why he's the man of my dreams. He knows me well enough to know exactly what to say to me to motivate me for one more day. Training is supposed to be difficult. It is conditioning your body so that when the real thing comes, it's as natural as breathing, and you don't have to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. All you concentrate on is the exhilaration of performance and the sweetness of triumph and victory when it's over.


There are so many parallels that I could draw between running and life. I will draw one that has really struck a chord in me and leave the rest open to you. We are constantly training in life. We are conditioning our minds, bodies, and spirits through our suffering, trials and difficulties for the races that we run every day. There are days when we are sucking wind after a half a mile, and we get cramps in muscles that we didn't know were there. Those are the days when we depend on that man of our dreams, friends, parents, brothers and sisters, all of our support system to reach out and and run beside us for a little while. Be thankful for those people. Be sure to tell them that you love them and appreciate their help, their wisdom, and their encouragement. Then, when it is your turn to run beside someone else, be sure to take that chance to run with them in the race. Use these precious moments to lend your strength that you have developed throughout your life to support and lift someone else and help him/her keep running to the finish.

Discouragement

Ok, I'm feeling discouraged today. Just downright Negative Nancy discouraged. I gave my body 4 days to recuperate from the torture that I put it through. All I did was Zumba and yoga. I didn't get on a treadmill lest I go flying off the back of it and crash into the guard rails. So, I went to get on the treadmill again, gotta get back up on that horse after ya fall off of it, and I got through a little over a mile when my ankle started hurting. Then, my knee started hurting, then my hip... did I mention that this is the knee that I tore my ACL in a few years back.... and so forth and so on until I could barely put one foot in front of the other again.
What in the hell have I done to myself???? Have I set myself back, or am I just a wuss? I'm leaning towards wuss, actually. I didn't really want to run today, and so I came up with lots of excuses to stop and not push through. Although, if you really are injured, you shouldn't run on an injury.
So, I came home and started thinking about WHY I don't want to run. I never came up with a good answer, but I DID realize something else. I don't want to stop running. I don't want to stop feeling good about my choices, my body, and my health. I don't want to stop feeling that sense of accomplishment when I hit a goal for time or distance. I don't want to stop sweating and pushing my body past what I ever thought I could possibly do. I don't want to stop. That's the bottom line. I like how I feel about myself when I run and make healthy choices for myself. So, I'm going to suck it up, put on my big girl undies, lace up my tennis shoes, and get back on the treadmill. Wish me luck and send me good vibes. I'm going to push through this and surprise even myself.

No running for me (today)

It's really hard to follow Jana's life lesson post...partly because I'm not near as funny and partly because I'm trying to clean up the water I spewed across the keyboard as I read it.  Here in a little bit I'll call to ask her if she vaguely remembers the little conversation we had on the way up to Aunt Jones' house about training schedules. But I'll wait until her toes stop cramping. 

I REALLY want to go for a run tonight, but instead I'm going to sit here and think about running.  I started a new school year today.  I'm in a new district, at a new school, and I don't know a soul.  I sat there at the table feeling sorry for myself, slightly overwhelmed and a little out of place.  Where did my thoughts drift?  To the last time I just ran for the sake of running...as far as I could go...in the rain...not tethered by a heart monitor or Runkeeper...no music...just me with the rain drops stinging my face and the sound of my shoes hitting the wet pavement. 

And there you have it, the #1 reason why I run: it's my therapy.  I don't run to look cool because if you've seen me run, there's nothing cool about it.  I don't run to win a race.  I don't run in order to be able to eat whatever I want whenever I want (although that is a nice added bonus).  I run to clear my mind both at the time and then later when I need a little escape.  Some people turn to chocolate, alcohol, drugs or food to escape.  I run.

Although it would really help me to calm down tonight, I think I'll just settle for the run I took today...sitting at the school...listening to the presentation...feeling the calming therapy of the memory of that run in the rain.

And I'll run tomorrow night because I'm an idiot training for a half-marathon!

I hate running (today)

Ok, so I read an article today about not "overtraining". As I'm reading, I'm thinking, "This is so stupid. Who ever heard of "overtraining?" Well, my dear friends and followers, I have done it. Just realized it today when I got on the treadmill to do a "short" run, and after a mile, I could barely put one foot in front of the other. Now, I'm not going to set any speed records anyway. I'm more of an endurance and stamina kind of girl, but ladies and gentlemen, that treadmill kicked my ass today. I mean completely and totally wiped up the floor with me. I got cramps in my feet and toes! Who gets feet and toe cramps? I got off the treadmill and limped around for a few minutes trying to play it off like I was just heaving and panting and limping because I had kicked so much ass on my run. I'm pretty sure that I fooled no one, but it made me feel better. I figured that it was like riding a horse, so I got back on that damn beast of a treadmill, and I decided to go for a brisk walk. About 3 minutes into that, I got a stitch in my side so bad that I couldn't breathe. I must've looked like I was really in distress, because the guy next to me asked me if I needed any help. I panted, "No, thanks, I got this." So, I decided that I wasn't going to be like Will Smith and DIE on the treadmill today. I have a fun trip in a few weeks, and dying would really put a crimp in my plans, so I heaved my big ass off that torture device and hauled my bruised ego and crampy toes home. I felt better after a hot shower, and I am now going to re-read that "overtraining" article. It appears that the "Idiot" part of training for a half marathon was out in full force today.
I blame it on my overzealousness (is that a word?) in running 5 miles on Saturday and not giving my battered, broken, and bruised body enough time to recover. Remember friends, there's NO point in pushing yourself so hard that you need 3 days to recover... well, unless you're me, and the point is to learn the hard lessons all on your own instead of listening to other people. If that's what you need to learn it, then by all means, go for it!!!!

Getting Started

Erica and I have decided that we are going to run a half marathon on November 13, 2011. We have chosen to name our blog Two Idiots Training for a Half Marathon because we're pretty sure that we're two idiots and we know we're training for a half marathon. This has been an exciting and enlightening journey for me, especially. I walked my first 5K in March 2011, my 2nd in May 2011, and my 3rd in June 2011. I've been following Erica's running "career" for about a year now, and I always thought, "Man, I wish I could run." Did I mention that I'm, what is politely called, a "full figured" woman? Anyway, Erica has been one of the inspiring factors in my journey, as well as other friends who have pushed and prodded me along the way. Hopefully, this will serve as inspiration for any of you gals (and guys) out there who want to get moving but just can't seem to do it.