So, it has been many moons since I last posted. One of my biggest faults (yes, I HAVE a fault) is procrastination. I have a very Scarlett O'Hara view of life. "I'll think about that tomorrow." Erica has since run many a half marathon AND a Ragnar which sounds like the equivalent of roasting in the pits of hell to me, but everyone has to have their "thing", right? Point being, I have yet to run a 10k, much less a marathon. This is a problem that will soon be rectified because I signed up for one in September. EEEEEEKKKKK!!!! When I think about running that 10k, I break out in hives, I swear.
However, this has become a personal quest for me. In the past 14 months since I made the upheaval of a lifetime involving dumping a piece of shit (ooops, trash) boyfriend, starting a new job, moving to new city, starting running, and meeting the man of my dreams, I have lost 65 lbs. (on a non-PMS day), and I'm down 6 (7 if I'm not retaining an ounce of water and the dress is a maxi dress) dress sizes. All of this thanks to running and making a (semi) commitment to a healthier lifestyle, as well as the support of so many people who are my sturdy anchors in choppy seas. So, this 10k is to prove to myself that I can do one more thing that I never thought that I could do, and to let them know how much their love and support has meant to me.
All of my life, people have told me that I can do anything, that I am the strongest person that he/she knows, that I have capabilities beyond my wildest imagination. Now, if you know me well, you know that as these people are encouraging me, I'm sitting there thinking "Blah, blah, blah.... I can feel the breeze from the smoke he/she is blowing up my skirt." Now, I'm beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, there is something to what all those folks were trying to tell me. Sometimes, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and I have to learn things the hard way. Shocking, I know.
Anyway,I have now chosen to (or have been coerced into... Erica) run(ning) a 10k. So, I decided that I would be brilliant get a training schedule. I visited www.coolrunning.com, and got a "beginners" 10k training schedule. Beginner, my ass!! All I can say, is that those guys at coolrunning.com obviously didn't have "beginners" such as I in mind when they developed that training schedule. Holy Mother of Milky Ways!! I didn't make it past the first week when I texted Erica and told her that I was done! Done! I believe that I may have included a few expletives and invectives in that message. Maybe. Prior to that, I had been so proud of myself and all that I had accomplished. I was running up to 5 miles on the treadmill, and I had broken my turtle-like pace and moved up to 4.8 mph. I was running a minimum of 3 days a week, and I was starting to feel like a RUNNER! See, that is a lot to be proud of! Three days into that damn training schedule, and I felt like a complete idiot (hence the idiot training for a half). I was sucking wind after a mile and a half, and I was tensing up every muscle in my body. I actually went home and cried after that run. Not tears of pain or triumph, but tears of frustration and anguish. A soul-deep anguish. I just didn't want to give up on one more thing in my life because it got too hard or required more than I thought that I had to give.
So, I thought a lot about it, and I talked to the aforementioned man of my dreams about it. He told me that if I didn't want to do it, not to bother myself with it. It was when he said that I realized that I DO want it. I want it so badly that I can taste it. I want it so badly that I WILL lace up my "trainers" and get back out there. See, that's why he's the man of my dreams. He knows me well enough to know exactly what to say to me to motivate me for one more day. Training is supposed to be difficult. It is conditioning your body so that when the real thing comes, it's as natural as breathing, and you don't have to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. All you concentrate on is the exhilaration of performance and the sweetness of triumph and victory when it's over.
There are so many parallels that I could draw between running and life. I will draw one that has really struck a chord in me and leave the rest open to you. We are constantly training in life. We are conditioning our minds, bodies, and spirits through our suffering, trials and difficulties for the races that we run every day. There are days when we are sucking wind after a half a mile, and we get cramps in muscles that we didn't know were there. Those are the days when we depend on that man of our dreams, friends, parents, brothers and sisters, all of our support system to reach out and and run beside us for a little while. Be thankful for those people. Be sure to tell them that you love them and appreciate their help, their wisdom, and their encouragement. Then, when it is your turn to run beside someone else, be sure to take that chance to run with them in the race. Use these precious moments to lend your strength that you have developed throughout your life to support and lift someone else and help him/her keep running to the finish.
